Sanity Disturbed: Wait, What Sanity?
by Synful Nocturne
Summary: Uh-oh. Marik's bored, and Bakura knows it. That doesn't bode well for the gang. Their sanity - or what's left of it - will never be the same...
1. Prologue

I'm baaack! Hey, all, it's Syn, and I'm back with a brand spankin' new fic! Yes, I'm still going to be torturing the YGO cast, simply because it amuses me.

Disclaimer: I do **not** own the characters of YGO, nor am I making any money off of these fics. Kinda wish I did, because then I would be paying off my tuition. I am merely using these characters for my own personal amusement, and that of others. I probably do not own this idea. If I inadvertently use someone else's idea, I apologize. These things are everywhere, and ideas are bound to cross or be reused. If what I write is too close to something you've seen in another fic, please let me know, and I will attempt to change it up enough that I don't get in trouble. I do not own the brain that came up with this idea – that's owned by a rental company, unfortunately – but I **do** own the computer it was typed on. Yay!

Warnings: Um… Insanity's a given, considering the characters… Mild swearing, dog jokes, attempted homicide/suicide… Once again, that's kind of a given, considering… Bakura and Marik in general. There might even be singing! Gasp!

Now, let's get started!

One fine day in Domino City, all was peaceful. The sky was blue, the birds were chirping happily, and all was right with the world. Except for a tanned Egyptian banging his head against a wall, muttering, "I am so _bored_! Why is there nothing to _do_?" Wincing at the headache he'd given himself, he turned and flopped down on his couch, pouting up at the ceiling.

Elsewhere, a pale young man with snow white hair that somehow made him look more evil than innocent, smirked. Did his ears deceive him? Or had someone really just said they were bored? With an evil cackle, he ran off, plots running rampant through his mind.

Meanwhile, the Egyptian paled. Somehow, he got the feeling that something was about to go terribly wrong… Little did he know, others that he knew in this city had just gotten the same exact foreboding sense of doom…

And there's the prologue! I'm already starting on the first chapter. I should have it posted either tonight or sometime tomorrow. Click the pretty little button, and feed the plot chickens! I need their ideas!


	2. Chapter One: The Plan

As promised, here's the first chapter of _Sanity Disturbed_. I'm not sure how many of these characters actually still _have_ their sanity, but hey. Whatever works. Anyway, there's not really much to say here.

Disclaimer: I do **not **own YGO or any of the ideas represented in this here fanfiction. Anything you recognize is borrowed for entertainment purposes and not monetary gain. After all, I'm not making any money off of this, no matter how much I wish I could. All I own is the computer it was typed on.

Now, on with the story!

* * *

Everyone was gathered in the living room of Ryou's house, looking around at the others in confusion. What were they all doing here? Some looked to Ryou for clues, but he looked as confused as everyone else. So that idea was out the window. They looked around some more, and spotted a worried-looking Marik.

Being the brave one – for some odd reason – Yugi was the one to pipe up. "Marik, why do you look so nervous?" the short spiky-haired boy asked curiously.

Marik gulped, seeing all eyes on him. "Well… I-I might have said I was bored…" Everyone looked alarmed. "And Bakura's boredom senses must have tingled…" The alarm turned to nearly full-blown panic.

"You _what_?" Anzu shrieked, jumping to her feet. She was about to start in on a rant detailing the dangers of mentioning boredom when Bakura waltzed in, grinning maniacally.

"Hello, all!" he chirped. Uh-oh. Bakura was happy, or as happy as he _could_ be without gore, sharp objects, or theft. That did _not_ bode well for the others.

"Um…Bakura? Why do you look so…chipper?" Ryou asked tentatively.

The more demonic-looking of the two white-haired beings grinned evilly. "Weeell, my boredom senses tingled." Everyone shot Marik a nasty glare. "So I decided we should remedy that."

"Remedy how?" Jou asked, everyone nodding in agreement.

"I'm glad you asked, my dear puppy!" Jou's right eye twitched. He may tolerate (read: growled and tried to hit) that from Kaiba, but it didn't mean he'd tolerate it from anyone else. Except crazy people who got off on others' pain and suffering and enjoyed playing with sharp objects. "We are going to lock ourselves in a building of our – well, _my_ – choice, and do odd things until there is no longer boredom amongst our group."

"And which building did you have in mind?" Seto asked boredly. He was already regretting coming to this little pow-wow.

"Why, the mall, of course! It's the one place where we would have access to anything we might need!"

"Of course," Marik muttered. "Why didn't _we_ think of that?" Next to him, Malik patted his shoulder sympathetically. He was also wondering if it would be possible to somehow have any glands or hormones producing boredom surgically removed. He'd have to ask Kaiba later.

Yugi was almost afraid to ask, but it was something they needed to know. "What are you proposing we do?"

"I'm glad you asked." And with that, Bakura cackled evilly. The others _swore_ they saw lightening in the background.

An hour later found them entering the mall, Kaiba having bribed (read: intimidated) those in charge into letting the group have free reign of the mall after hours. This meant unlimited access to all stores, the food court, and the security room. After all, they'd probably end up having to delete all footage of anything involving Bakura, Marik, and Malik. Those three could cause trouble without even trying. It was even worse when they actually _did_ try.

"What are we doing?" Malik asked, sighing. He had a feeling that Ryou, Yugi, and/or Yami would forbid the killing of anyone, or the sending of people to the Shadow Realm – except Anzu. That might actually be allowed.

Instead of answering, Bakura simply passed out paintball guns and night vision goggles, then ran off to cut the power. Using the PA system, he announced, "Everyone, take your places! You have five minutes before I shut off the lights."

With no doubt that he would make good on that time limit, everyone ran off to find a good hiding place in the designated area. Each ran in opposite directions, Jou and Honda actually diving into tightly packed racks of clothing, settling themselves on their stomachs. They checked to make sure they had clear views of the entrances to their stores while maintaining their cover. With the dimmer lighting, they felt it safe to go ahead and put on the goggles. Once done with that, they squirmed about slightly, getting comfortable and setting up their guns.

Yami took cover in a music store after making sure Yugi was in a nearby store, where he could get to the shorter boy should he have to. Yugi was in a candy store, crouched behind tall shelves in the middle of the store. He was waiting for the lights to go out so he could shuffle over to the narrow aisle between his set of shelves and the next, where he would have a clear shot while still maintaining cover.

Anzu, the only female of the group, had decided to make her base in a coffee shop. Why, no one knew. She simply hopped the counter, setting her paintball gun on top and dragging a stool over. That way, she could sit on the stool, keeping most of her body sheltered, while propping the gun on the counter.

Seto had decided not to participate, though he gave the illusion that he was. He took his paintball gun into an electronics store and disappeared into a back room, where his briefcase was waiting. He'd be leaving the others to their game, and do some work on his laptop instead.

Ryou was of a similar mind. He found his favorite bookstore, grabbed a stack of books – after all, who knew how long this would take? – and carried them to the back of the store. He had long since discovered a hidden corner that was blocked from the front by shelves, and calendar racks on the side. Walls made up the other two sides. There was just enough room for him to slip into the corner, where he settled in the worn armchair, the books stacked at his feet. He knew that no one other than employees – and himself, of course – knew about this spot. Employees would take their breaks here, and allow him use of it when nobody else was using it. On one wall was a little shelf, which held a few water bottles, snacks, a flashlight (should the power go out), and a book light. He clipped the light to the cover of the first book and started to read, comfortable with the knowledge that no one would be able to see the light should they look inside the store.

Marik and Malik had decided to stick together. They were waiting out in the open, goggles perched on their heads, ready to be pulled down. They figured they'd just employ guerilla tactics. Or just charge in like madmen, cackling all the while.

The PA crackled as Bakura came on again. "Everybody ready? If not, too bad. Let the games begin!" With that, he cut the power.

Moments later, all hell broke loose as Marik and Malik charged into battle.

* * *

And there you have chapter one. If you have any suggestions for what you'd like to see, feel free to send them in a reply or PM. If they fit into the non-existent plans for this fic, I'll include them. Now, click the pretty little button and feed the green and purple heffalump in my backyard. You know you want to!


	3. The Development

Hey, everyone! I'm back with chapter two of _Sanity Disturbed_! Sadly, I had this chapter written in less than an hour, with absolutely no inspiration, at 2:30 this morning. Now, at 7:30, I'm at school, doing the editing. Ah, the joys of an insomniac… Anyway. Like I said, here's chapter two.

Disclaimer: I do **not** own YGO or any of the ideas represented in this here piece of fanwork, fiction or otherwise. Anything you recognize is borrowed for entertainment purposes and not monetary gain. I make no money off of this, no matter how much I wish I could. After all, college is a bit on the pricey side. All I own is the computer it was typed on.

Now, on with the story!

* * *

Marik and Malik were having the time of their evil little lives when Malik suddenly fell forward. His foot had caught on an ill-placed chair as he was sniped from behind by Bakura. Said thief cackled madly as he dashed off.

Hearing the commotion from his safe area in the back of the bookstore, Ryou simply shook his head and sighed before returning to his book. After all, it was a good book. It had samurai, robots, demons, and aliens. And he was relatively sure the author had been on crack, which just made the book all the more humorous. What could be better? Oh, right. Curling up on his bed with said book. That _would_ be better.

Meanwhile, Jou and Honda had both left the safety of their respective clothing racks to form a truce and hunt down Anzu. Neither really liked her, and the opportunity to pelt her with paint without getting in trouble was too good to pass up. They found her hunkered down in a coffee shop and glanced at each other before setting up base in the store opposite, which happened to be an outdoor shop. Within moments, they were hitting the girl with a rain of colored pellets. The girl was shrieking, unable to see through the storm of paint, and thus unable to defend herself. Why she didn't think to simply dive behind the counter she was sitting at, they didn't know, but she certainly made for good target practice.

As the female finally fell and waved a white napkin, signaling her surrender, music began to play over the PA, complete with eerie singing.

"_Anzu walks warily down the street / With the brim pulled way down low / Ain't no sound but the sound of her feet / Machine guns ready to go / Are you ready / Are you ready for this / Are you hanging on the edge of your seat / Out of the doorway the bullets rip / To the sound of the beat!"_

As it played, Yami peeked over the music rack to see Bakura standing still, looking up in confusion. "I guess you're not behind this?" Yami asked.

Bakura whipped his gaze down to his nemesis, glaring slightly. "Does it look like I'm in a position to be doing this?"

"No…?"

In another part of the mall, Marik and Malik were dancing around like loons, paintball guns in one hand. They were getting a kick out of this entire situation, and the fact that Anzu had been the first to fall was hilarious. The fact that there was a song to commemorate the event was even better.

"Bakura certainly had a good idea," Marik giggled – yes, _giggled_ – madly.

"Somehow, I don't think Bakura's behind the music," Malik replied.

The two glanced at each other, shrugged, and resumed dancing, belting out the lyrics as they did so.

"_Another one bites the dust / Another one bites the dust / And another one gone, and another one gone / Another one bites the dust / Hey, I'm gonna get you, too / Another one bites the dust!_

"_How do you think they're getting along / Without you, when you're gone / You took them for everything that they had / And kicked them out on their own_

"_Are you happy, are you satisfied / How long can you stand the heat / Out of the doorway the bullets rip / To the sound of the beat!"_

In their safe, comfy hiding spots, not even Ryou and Seto could resisting singing along softly. What? It was amusing. And very catchy.

"_Another one bites the dust / Another one bites the dust / Another one bites the dust / Another one bites the dust / There are plenty of ways you can hurt a girl / And bring her to the ground / You can beat her / You can cheat her / You can treat her bad and leave her / When she's down / But they're ready, yes, they're ready for you / They're standing on their own two feet / Out of the doorway the bullets rip / Repeating the sound of the beat…"_

"Well. That certainly fit the situation…" Yugi muttered to himself. Although he _was_ curious about who was behind this latest development. If he was hearing correctly, Bakura was talking to Yami, and so he couldn't be behind it. Marik and Malik were loud enough at the moment that they could be heard cackling maniacally on the other side of the mall. Jou and Honda were most likely the ones to have attacked Anzu, and were probably currently laughing themselves silly.

So who…?

* * *

And that's it for this chapter. Like I said at the beginning, this was written early in the morning, and with no inspiration. This is what came out of my mind. Yeah… This is why I shouldn't be writing so early… Click the pretty button and feed the Woozles.


	4. Of Ducks and Discussions

Hi, everyone! Sorry it took so long. I know I was supposed to have this up by the week after A-Kon, but a certain pair of crazy characters kept running off with it. And then I had a car wreck, so…yeah.

Disclaimer: Do I _really_ need to keep doing this? Honestly. If I owned _anything_, all my ideas would be used in the anime, and not in fanfiction. And then I'd be making money and giving slash lovers what they want while satisfying my own perverted mind.

That said, on with the story!

* * *

The group met up again in the food court to discuss the latest goings on. After all, while the PA Phantom was pretty cool, it was still slightly…creepy. Anzu in particular was freaking out, and after ten minutes of her lunacy, Marik shot her with a tranquilizer gun he'd brought along for this particular reason. Without much (read "absolutely no") protest, Malik hauled Anzu off to what he had termed "mall jail for crazy people". When asked what that meant, he simply smiled and mentioned something about ropes and gags. No one pressed the matter.

Once Malik had returned, the group set out to try to discover where the PA Phantom was hiding. However, they were soon sidetracked by a toy store, where they spotted a giant rubber duck wearing purple lipstick, mascara, and a lime green tutu. Even Seto had to blink and rub his eyes, then do a double take. At that moment, the duck spotted them and squacked (combination of "squeak" and "quack") in a deep voice, "Who dares disturb my toy store domain? Answer, knaves, or be attacked by my army of little psychos!" The duck gestured behind itself to indicate the glowing purple eyes peering at them from various aisles. Closer inspection revealed the eyes to belong to various stuffed animals holding plastic weaponry.

Yugi was unanimously (well, excluding his opinion) voted the brave midget to act as diplomatic liaison and shoved forward to talk to the large rubber cross-dressing duck.

"U-um, hello, Your Almighty Duckness. You see, my friends and I are doing…an experiment, and while working on it, we heard someone who wasn't supposed to be here. Whoever it was played _Another One Bites the Dust_ over the PA a little while ago. Would you happen to know who it was?"

The duck glanced over its shoulder, and seemed to have a conversation with its army. Finally, it turned back to them. "Talk to the gummy bears. They might know something." And with that, the duck retreated into the shadowed store, muttering something about going to war with the Slinkies invading its territory.

Needless to say, once the humans had hightailed it away from there, they agreed that it had been a group hallucination and that they would never speak of it again after this night was over.

That did not, however, keep them from following the duck's advice and going to find the gummy bears. The chewy critters sent them to talk to the stuffed poodles, which, in turn, sent them to talk to a wildlife store to talk to the giraffes. They did not get any useful information.

Now entirely unnerved and fearing for their sanity, or what was left of it, the group returned to the food court, where they sat down to a snack and strategy meeting.

"So," said Malik, "what do we do now?"

"Well," said Yami, "we could check the security room…"

Malik shook his head. "I did that when I took the annoying one to the mall jail for crazy people. No one there, and any footage has already been either erased or tampered with." He pouted and chomped on a fry, Marik patting him comfortingly on the shoulder.

"Maybe Seto could hack the security cameras and take a look?" Ryou asked hopefully.

"I could," Seto agreed. "But that would take even a genius like me a long time." His eyes were narrowed, as though irritated at having to admit that. He probably was.

They talked a bit longer before coming to the conclusion that, no matter what they did, it was going to take time to find their PA Phantom. This did not sit well with anyone, even though it alleviated the boredom they had all been feeling recently.

Bakura sighed and looked around at the rest of the group before voicing what they were all thinking:

"Well, shit."

* * *

Sorry it's short. I wasn't able to save what I had before my laptop did its update thing and lost part of the chapter. Unfortunately, that deleted everything that occurred after the duck. Rawr. Well, if anyone has anything they'd like to see happen, you know what to do! Ideas are always welcome!


	5. NOT A CHAPTER

To those of you who were awaiting an update on this story, I must apologize. And I know authors aren't technically supposed to post chapters that are merely authors' notes. However, there is something going on that I must address. Many of you will know by now that the administrators of have decided that it is time to do a site-wide cleanup and delete stories that they feel surpass their highest rating. Readers who have been on this site for years will remember a time when it didn't really matter what was contained within a story as long as the author gave fair warning and an appropriate rating. The administrators have decided that this is no longer enough. The first to go were stories that could be classified as lists, such as _100 Things…_-based stories, or stories written in script-form. Next, they targeted songfics, though there are apparently several still on the site because the story is not strictly based on the song. Now, they are targeting stories with what they consider to be excess amounts of violence, detailed sex scenes, slash, femslash, and, well, anything that would offend and/or corrupt young readers, as well as _Reading the Books_ stories.

One step authors and readers have taken in protest is a petition, which can be found here: www . change petitions/fanfiction-net-stop-the-destruction-of-fanfiction-net

Please remove the spaces and help us out, if only to help out your favorite authors or friends you have on this site.

There is more we can do, and we will be doing it. Someone – and no, I do not know who, but I applaud them – is organizing a Blackout Day. On Saturday, June 23rd, 2012 (according to GMT, so we are all together), we will not be on at all. We will not be logging on, reading, reviewing, messaging friends or returning messages from reviewers, reviewing, updating, nothing. It is our hope that, if enough people participate, the site administrators will take notice, and find a way to make everyone happy without losing the people who have kept this site so popular.

Please spread the word in any way you can, no matter the fandom. The motto of this site is, and always has been, "Unleash Your Imagination." That isn't possible when we have an ever-growing list of things we can't have in our works.

Good day to you all.

~Synful Nocturne~


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